FIVE MONTHS
Please don’t forget me just because it’s been
A few months or so
Since my world turned upside down.
In universal terms
Hardly a moment has gone by
And I’m still spinning
With eyes wide and arms outstretched,
Waiting to fall.
Please don’t think that I should be over this by now,
Just because you can leave the past in your past.
Because I am caught in that moment,
Frozen where the wave is crashing,
Every time I close my eyes.
Please don’t ignore me,
I know that I am difficult for you.
I’m difficult for me too.
I’ve never done this before.
I don’t know any other way to be.
And please don’t think that I’m ok,
Because I’m walking around
And going to work,
And feeding my cats,
And sometimes laughing.
Life goes on even when you’re not ready for it to,
And I do what I have to do
Because I didn’t die with him.
I see it in my sleep,
And all I can do is go on living,
And tell his stories,
And hope that one day this will be enough.
© mjc 05 April 2016
